I can't

I can't anymore.
I can't wake up and pretend to be happy.
Force down a banana trying not to think of all the calories turning into fat.
Down a couple coffees to get through my day.
Put on makeup - no a mask.
Paste on a smile and get to campus.
Get through my classes, trying not to break down.
Because they just re-enforce how stupid I am.
Run home and binge and binge.
Do some homework then purge and purge.
Because the only time I feel is good is after that purging high.
But I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.

-Niqi
xoxo