This blog post is going to be mostly me ranting about my love hate relationship with protein bars. I will be posting a blog post where I give my review of protein bars over the weekend, but for now I'm just going to rant. I'm in a complaining mood.
OKAY. So protein bars cost about a million dollars a box, and 2 million dollars if you buy them individually. So me, trying to be financially responsible, buys protein bars in boxes. But then I binge on them. And I can't purge them because they cost a million dollars. And they have protein, and I need the protein in my diet. But it was still a binge and I'll hate myself for it for the next week.
Now you're probably thinking, okay Niqi, just don't fucking binge on your protein bars. But when I don't keep binge food in the house, they're the closest thing I have to chocolate bars and so they become my binge food.
And thus, I have to buy my protein bars individually. And spend more money that I don't have.
*sigh*
Tampilkan postingan dengan label money. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label money. Tampilkan semua postingan
Jumat, 21 Oktober 2016
Sabtu, 08 Oktober 2016
Money
I finally have some!
... well not really, my tuition isn't fully paid. But my student loans finally arrive so I feel less stressed about my financial situation.
Of course, being the irresponsible little shit I am, I went out shopping. I didn't do too much damage; $100 spent at the nutrition store (which included a huge container of protein powder), $40 spent on new running shoes (which were desperately needed), and $30 spent on things for my cat.
It was nice to get a bit of retail therapy in, especially when I was buying things that were between wants and needs. I don't need protein powder, but I need food. I don't need a scratching post for Prozac, but I do need a box spring that isn't ruined. And, I don't need new shoes, but I need to stop getting injured.
It's the start of my reading week - which means the start of 11 whole days of unstructured time. I'm worried about the binging and purging increasing but I'm hoping I can keep myself in check with exercise, studying and relaxing. I want to re-read all the Harry Potter books over the next 11 days. I have a few letters to write, some to my pen-pals, some to the government.
To all the Canadians out there - happy Thanksgiving weekend! I hope the food and family situation doesn't get you too stressed out.
... well not really, my tuition isn't fully paid. But my student loans finally arrive so I feel less stressed about my financial situation.
Of course, being the irresponsible little shit I am, I went out shopping. I didn't do too much damage; $100 spent at the nutrition store (which included a huge container of protein powder), $40 spent on new running shoes (which were desperately needed), and $30 spent on things for my cat.
It was nice to get a bit of retail therapy in, especially when I was buying things that were between wants and needs. I don't need protein powder, but I need food. I don't need a scratching post for Prozac, but I do need a box spring that isn't ruined. And, I don't need new shoes, but I need to stop getting injured.
It's the start of my reading week - which means the start of 11 whole days of unstructured time. I'm worried about the binging and purging increasing but I'm hoping I can keep myself in check with exercise, studying and relaxing. I want to re-read all the Harry Potter books over the next 11 days. I have a few letters to write, some to my pen-pals, some to the government.
To all the Canadians out there - happy Thanksgiving weekend! I hope the food and family situation doesn't get you too stressed out.
Rabu, 24 Agustus 2016
Back on track
I'm at the point where I have no choice but to get back on track again. I have everything to lose right now. School, my job, my relationship with my family that I've worked so hard to improve.
I've spent all my money binging and purging. I'm going to have to ask my parents to lend me some money to pay September's rent, which I really didn't want to have to do. Thankfully, my tuition isn't due until September 22nd, so I have some time to get that sorted out.
Having my medication sorted out also helps me feel better, I'm confident that I won't get myself to a point where I need to go back to the hospital again. I really think that this dosage of medication is helping stabilize me, and making it possible for me to use my skills. I've done a good job at using my skills when it comes to my BPD thoughts and the self harm, now I just need to apply these skills to my eating disorder. I know I can do it. I know how to do it. Now I just need to actually do it. Starting today. No more of this "I'll start tomorrow". I start today.
I'm just so frustrated that I let myself get into this position again. It's going to be a fight to get out of this position, but who said I wasn't a fighter?
I've spent all my money binging and purging. I'm going to have to ask my parents to lend me some money to pay September's rent, which I really didn't want to have to do. Thankfully, my tuition isn't due until September 22nd, so I have some time to get that sorted out.
Having my medication sorted out also helps me feel better, I'm confident that I won't get myself to a point where I need to go back to the hospital again. I really think that this dosage of medication is helping stabilize me, and making it possible for me to use my skills. I've done a good job at using my skills when it comes to my BPD thoughts and the self harm, now I just need to apply these skills to my eating disorder. I know I can do it. I know how to do it. Now I just need to actually do it. Starting today. No more of this "I'll start tomorrow". I start today.
I'm just so frustrated that I let myself get into this position again. It's going to be a fight to get out of this position, but who said I wasn't a fighter?
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