happy happy holidays

The holidays are a wonderful time of year. If you're happy that is.

I should be in the hospital. But there is no more help they can give me. 

My family is gonna hate having me around because I'm going to lock myself in my room the entire time.

I'll eat my own Christmas dinner at the end of the table. Eating delicious pan fried veggies with no oil while everyone else feasts on turkey. All for nothing because then I will binge on cookies and pie.
I never understood why suicide rates went up around the holidays. Everyone seems so happy and festive. I get it now. Being the only unhappy one is quite a lonely feeling.

-Niqi
xoxo