Tears

They say that random crying
Can be a symptom of
Depression, but I've never really
Had that symptom at all.

I've always had the numb
Feeling, the one where there's
A lump at the back of your
Throat, and you want to cry, but
you
just
can't.

 
Today was different though
Everything was fine and
Then I cried and cried and
I can barely see what I'm
Typing as tears are blurring
My eyes and I don't know what
Hit me.

Everything seems like
Too much. My class graduates
This year, I'm taking an extra
Year so I graduate next year but
The idea is still terrifying.

My boyfriend graduates this
Year and has big and grand plans
That I fully support but I want to
Know what will happen.

I guess maybe it's good that
I can finally cry, but it feels
So strange and vulnerable. Maybe
I've broken down a wall of
Numbness and this is what happens
But it's new and it's strange
Like all other things
In my life.