A list of things I am doing instead of studying

A list of things I am doing instead of studying

1. Writing this list
2. Eating a bag of sour cherry blasters
3. Feeling guilty for eating a bag of sour cherry blasters
4. Obsessively checking my phone, waiting for someone to text me so that I have a reason not to study
5. Worrying about my trip home tomorrow
6. Stress eating more sour cherry blasters because of my trip home tomorrow
7. Wondering why home is so scary
8. Wondering how I got so bad that I can't return to where it all began
9. Thinking of a thousand different ways the next two days could go wrong
1. The elliptical could be broken so I won't be able to work out
2. Our train could break down and we never make it home
3. My siblings could be unexcited to see me
4. My siblings could decide to shoot my boyfriend with a nerf gun
5. There could be no food that I eat in the house
6. I could ruin my recovery with all the binge food available
7. I could spiral into a relapse so bad that I
1. Spend the trip hiding from my family
2. Spend the trip lying to my boyfriend
3. Burst a pipe in the bathroom
4. Am too distracted to have fun
5. Am too tired to study for my finals
6. Study so little that I fail my finals causing me to
1. Question my life choices
2. Not get into graduate school
3. Not get a job
4. Move into my parents basement
5. Be a huge dissapointment
6. Never acheive anything in life