I'm at the point where I have no choice but to get back on track again. I have everything to lose right now. School, my job, my relationship with my family that I've worked so hard to improve.
I've spent all my money binging and purging. I'm going to have to ask my parents to lend me some money to pay September's rent, which I really didn't want to have to do. Thankfully, my tuition isn't due until September 22nd, so I have some time to get that sorted out.
Having my medication sorted out also helps me feel better, I'm confident that I won't get myself to a point where I need to go back to the hospital again. I really think that this dosage of medication is helping stabilize me, and making it possible for me to use my skills. I've done a good job at using my skills when it comes to my BPD thoughts and the self harm, now I just need to apply these skills to my eating disorder. I know I can do it. I know how to do it. Now I just need to actually do it. Starting today. No more of this "I'll start tomorrow". I start today.
I'm just so frustrated that I let myself get into this position again. It's going to be a fight to get out of this position, but who said I wasn't a fighter?
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